Is there such a thing as a happy weight?

That might not be a question you've ever considered. If you haven't, I'll assume you don't read women's magazines. 'How I found my happy weight' sounds to me like a vom-inducing coverline ready to be splashed across a pic of a peppy starlet on a glossy.

And yet, with all the latest news about the ongoing UK obesity crisis, it's something I think about. Everyone's talking about fat people and how to stop them growing (both literally and in number) and  many people I know are on diets - well, we are only 39 days into the new year - but not me. I don't need one.

Before you think I'm just saying this to be smug, I'm not. For as long as I remember my weight has always fluctuated. I’ve been thin (heartbreak is my favourite recipe for becoming hip-juttingly skinny with minimum effort) and I’ve been fat (drinking too much or prowling the kitchen, binge-eating to squash down the feelings of loneliness, underachievement or relationship misery that I just couldn’t bring myself to deal with in a more positive way). But all that has changed now I’m in the right mindset.

I have found my happy weight. That's a weight that I'm happy with and that also makes me happy – because it's the happiness part that's actually important, not the figure on the scales. I'm 5ft 4in and my happy weight is somewhere under 9st. It's not Kate Moss 'nothing tastes as good as thin feels' skinny but it's slim and natural. And you know what? It's not that hard to find. You just need to follow a few simple rules. Like these:

 

STOP WORRYING ABOUT YOUR WEIGHT

As a child I spent years feeling fat. I wasn't, but neither was I one of those beanpoles with skinny little limbs and visible ribs. I could sense that I had chunky thighs but if I ever questioned my weight, Mum would say. 'You're not fat. You're just well-covered.' It didn't really help.

In adulthood, you gain the power to control what goes into your body. I've had such a lack of control that I've been heavy, and such strict control that I've been thin. The more I worried about it, the more I would restrict my intake of food, only to binge at a later date thus undoing all my good work and messing with my metabolism.

I did detoxes and crazy diets (I still do, but for health reasons more than weightloss these days) as I embraced strict regimes to help me lose that magic half (OK, one and a half) stone. Hence the fluctuation in my weight.

Ironically though, it was only when I was just too exhausted by the process that I suddenly lost some weight. A more balanced attitude to my body shape lead to more balance on the scales. I don't even own scales any more - which also helped - and I just judge myself by how I look and how my clothes fit. I've been a size 10 for about three years now.

ONLY EAT WHEN YOU'RE HUNGRY
It's far too easy not to do this. I used to eat because I fancied it, because I wanted the taste of something. If I was on a train journey, any sandwiches/snacks that I'd brought with me would be begging to be eaten within two minutes of the doors closing. If someone was eating in the office, that would spark me off. Or if it was deemed the right time to eat, I'd dutifully stuff my face regardless of whether I needed to. And all that is a recipe for carrying extra weight.


Now I really listen to my hunger. I don't do 'just in case' eating and I don't panic about where my next meal is coming from. I don't keep lots of food in my desk at work - even the healthy snacks are calorific when you're grazing all day long. I also allow myself to get hungry, whereas I used to fear it and stave it off at any given opportunity. Then, when I am hungry, and reasonably so, I eat. Usually whatever I like.


EAT WHAT YOU WANT...
Ever noticed how as soon as you're on a diet or 'being good' you're haunted by everything you can't have? Personally, that denial becomes an all-consuming obsession that I'd rather do without. One day I realised that if I wanted Brie and crackers followed by chocolate mousse for dinner, but I ate a salad first, I'd only go and eat the cheese and chocolate afterwards. Double the calories.


So now, if I want cheese and biscuits for dinner, that's what I have. Not every night (although my husband believes that when he's away, that's literally all I live on) but occasionally. If I want cake, I'll eat cake. We have butter, wholemilk yoghurt, olive oil, full fat cheese, avocados, all the good stuff and  I do try to eat a balanced diet, with plenty of fresh fruit and veg. I just try not to deny myself. 


BUT STOP WHEN YOU'RE FULL
Simple but effective. Do I really need to explain this? High fat foods are actually helpful here as they send signals to your brain faster (or something like that) so you need less of them to fill you up. So pull up a chair, spread that toasted tea cake with Anchor and if you only want half of it, that's fine. I'll share with you.


So these are the basics. I could go on and on and on about this stuff. There are loads more simple tricks I have for eating well and staying happy but I think you've read enough for now.

Ironically, I'm writing this from bed where I've been with a nasty cold for the past three days. I haven't been able to taste anything since Thursday, which is very helpful for not overeating. I wouldn't recommend it though. Boring as hell