I have never

I was watching the Graham Norton show the other Friday. Yes, it's a primetime a show. No, I don't get out much these days. Thanks, for pointing that out.

Yeah, so I'm not hugely proud to admit such a screen habit, but I get home late after my shaking class on Fridays (will explain that particular activity in another post) and it's good easy-watch telly to eat dinner and zone out to. Anyway, I'm protesting too much. let's just move on.

The guests were Keanu Reeves, Marcus Brigstocke and Emilia Fox and at one point they played 'I have never'. For which Emilia's answer was, 'I have never cooked a meal'. She just doesn't cook apparently. Apart from the three-course dinner complete with recipes and glossy photoshoot that I saw in a certain women's mag a while back, presumably. I felt a little betrayed (and very irrationally so) that she may not be the poussin-rustling-up domestic goddess that she came across as in those very pretty pictures. Mainly because I work for said magazine but, again, let's move on.

Am now worried that I'll be sacked in some breach of contract for bringing my media company bosses into disrepute for suggesting something we printed wasn't 100 per cent accurate. I've probably made it ten times worse by flagging it up here too. Thank god for no one reading this blog.

MOVING ON.

It got me thinking though. As a late adopter there are *many* things I have never done. Obvious ones like climbing Everest or finding a cure for cancer don't really count. It's the more mundane, run-of-the-mill ones that I'm a talking about. Like...

I have never:
* Eaten a Big Mac, or indeed anything on the McDonald's menu that isn't a cheeseburger or quarter pounder with cheese. And since I have no idea when I last ate a McDonald's (the 90s?) I don't think this is likely to change anytime soon.
* Ridden a racing bike
* Owned an iPod (don't think a first-generation nano counts - especially as I bought that when they were about to be discontinued)
* Seen countless classic films: The Godfather (any of them), Titanic, Taxi Driver, Withnail and I
* Read any Jane Austen, Charles Dickens, DH Lawrence, Oscar Wilde
* Passed (or taken) a driving test

Am thinking that I may need to devise a definite list and start late-adopting some of these. Not the Big Mac. Or Titanic.

But I think perhaps I'll get a more comprehensive list together and start ticking things off it. Goal setting. I like it

I am a master baker

Oh yes. This weekend I managed to turn this selection of sugars, treacles, lemons, flour, ginger, hazelnuts and chocolate into a fine selection of tasty treats.

It's a friend's birthday and she asked me to bake something chocolately, something lemony, a ginger cake and some cupcakes for a party.


This is what I came up with:

Lemon Drizzle cake from Tea With Mrs Simkins

Cupcakes of my own devising

Nigella's nutella cake from How to be a Domestic Goddess

Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall's ginger cake, from River Cottage Everyday

What took you so long?

Much as I'd like to believe the whole blogisphere has been asking this question, mulling over the puzzle of my as-yet missing web presence or sparking heated forum debates on 'Just When Will Simmo Start Blogging?' I'm not stupid. No one has been asking this question. No one, that is, except me.

Why someone who considers herself a writer can't bring herself to put pen to paper (or finger to keyboard if you want to get all 21st century about it) has been a mystery to me for a while now. And of late, it's been bugging me so much that it's actually spurred me into action. About three years behind the rest of the masses.

Why? Well, if you've read the blog title and I still have to explain it, then maybe this isn't the read for you. But in the interests of not alienating new readers, I will elaborate.

Late should be my middle name. It's actually Marie, which (thanks Mum) is possibly less desirable, in my mind at least.

From day one I've been late. Before that even. I was conceived late in my parents' marriage, I was born late, and I've lived my life on completely the wrong side of early ever since.

It's apparent in very superficial ways. Birthday cards repeatedly get sent late, even if I've bought them early. And my present giving is even tardier. Most people are closer to their next birthday than the one I've missed by the time my gift gets to them.

Lately I've realised that lateness characterises my life in much more subtle ways. I am cautious, unadventurous, I research and I wait, and I wait some more and do more research and in the end I spend so long searching for perfection that by the time I commit, everyone's moved onto something new.

Some people, like my friend Wil, are early adopters. According to Wikipedia 'An early adopter or lighthouse customer is an early customer of a given company, product, or technology; in politics, fashion, art, and other fields, this person would be referred to as a trendsetter.'

A trendsetter! How I'd love to be one of those. A leader. A pioneer! But, alas, I am the polar opposite. I know about the trends and the new stuff (it's hard not to, living in London and working for a women's magazine) but I am a late adopter. Of trends, technology, adult behaviour, sensible moves like giving up smoking, having babies (silence, my deafening 30-something biological clock). You name it.

But, I guess I have to stop focusing on this and embrace the fact that I'm here now. Better late then never, eh?

I will post soon...

...but I'm running a bit late